3 + Me = unbalanced ego

Marriage is hard enough, then add a house, a business and a baby...boom it's a bit hectic around here.  So what the heck add one more baby to the mix and things are definitely not the same. I thought having a second child would be a cinch.  How hard could it be?  Everyone that told me I was so lucky with Jack being a good baby just didn't get it.  I was a good mom and he was my reflection.  I didn't yell, the house was somewhat organized and his super intelligence was partly from his brainiac father but mostly because I just talked to him so damn much. 

Then Lily arrives and literally from the minute she took her first breath we began the roller coaster.  In fact, the first night at the hospital I called the nurse and handed Lily to her and said "Something is wrong, she just won't stop crying."  The nurse laughed and said she is just a new baby getting adjusted.  In my mind I was thinking "Duh, she must not have children bc Jack was never like this ever!"  From that moment on my ego was in overdrive.  I was going to come home bc the hospital was upsetting her and everything would be perfect.  Laundry would be done,  house would be clean, my husband would be happy, Jack would be completely adjusted with a new sister & my business would be booming and I will just go there everyday with baby in tow.  Yeah, that never happened.  Laundry piled up, I didn't show up to the studio for like a month or so and my husband wanted me dead for sure and Jack pretty much wanted Lily to go back to the hospital.  Oh and Lily never stopped crying...for like two months!!

So what is the Ego and if I am such a scholar  yogi why would my ego be out of whack.  Well, for many reasons, but most importantly because I am human.  I also live in a world where the social expectations are set high for moms.  If you let the social expectations get the best of you, then your ego will take over and cause a lot of unwanted stress.

Well, here I am four months later and my ego is starting to go back into hits hiding place.  What has helped me...other moms.  It's like a secret society.  You could be at the grocery store and your kid is flipping out and all the moms give you that look like "I feel your pain sister and it's gonna be ok."  Also, online support groups, for entrepreneur moms, breast feeding moms, etc.  I think the most helpful has been the breastfeeding support groups.   Every other person tells me I should give my 15lb four month old formula bc she is hungry or so I could get a break.  Don't they get it, yeah I am tired but the moment of bonding is my break from the chaos around me sometimes.  If you want to help me with my new one just support my breast feeding decision.  It was a rough start but I made it here alive and well and so did Lily.  Of course the doctors all thought I had post par tum but I was just being honest.  When they asked if I wanted to injure anyone in one of my many post par tum visits I said "Yes, my husband".  Once I said that they new I would be ok.  Poor Ed.

 Do I want to be at every event, especially when it comes to yoga...sure. Am I...no. My time will come,  right now I am exactly where I am supposed to be and that's with my family, ego less and happy and possibly surrounded by piles of laundry :)

Vegan "Meat"balls

My good friend Julie(who I used to call Jules) that I used to work with in the NICU gave me this recipe over 12 years ago. I have made some small changes to it. They are so delicious I know you will just love them. Here's a hint: make a double recipe and freeze some so you can take out quickly for dinner on a night you don't have anything planned. They freeze great.



Jules Meatless "Meat"balls (vegan)



1 cup of breadcrumbs -seasoned

1 cup of walnut - super fine chop

2 carrots shredded

2 stalks of celery finely chopped

3 cloves of garlic finely chopped

1 small onion finely chopped

1 tbsp of dried fennel seed

1/2- 3/4 cup of plain almond milk

1/2 container of tofu(this is optional, original recipe didn't have tofu walnuts have enough protein)

a nice dash of salt

*if your into vegan cheese you can add 1 cup of the mozzarella type and Parmesan type (we leave it out)

Olive Oil



Begin by sauteing the carrots, celery, onion and garlic in a saute pan until translucent.

Set aside to cool. While the veggies are cooking you can take your walnuts and put in a food processor and finely chop them until they almost look like breadcrumbs. Now take all of the ingredients and put them in a large bowl and mix. You may have to add more breadcrumb or more almond milk to get the correct consistency. Make small little balls and put aside on a dish. Once you are finished rolling all your balls you can either fry or bake your meatballs. If you bake them set them oven to 375 for 35-40 minutes and rotate a few times through out baking process. We usually fry them in a little olive oil. You don't have to saturate them in the oil to fry.  Making sure to turn them so they cook on all sides.  Then you can place them on a dish that is either lined with an old paper bag or a cloth to drain any excess oil.  Place them in your favorite sauce or eat plain they are delicious!  You can even make Swedish vegan meatballs or sweet and sour.  The options are endless. If you are going to freeze.  You would freeze them after you finish cooking them without any sauce.

Try them and write me and tell me what you think!  Enjoy!!

Yoga Teacher Infatuation...What Happened to Non Attachment

Hmm... this should be a good one.  Why is it we as yoga teachers are supposed to be teaching non attachment yet do we practice it ourselves?  A perfect example is the following of one teacher.  We all have done it and most still do it.  Isn't that attachment?  Doesn't everyone have something to give to our yoga community?  Yes, some are new, some don't move as fast as a spin class but something pivotal in their lives put them on this yogic path.  Shouldn't we stick around to see what that was???  It took me a long time to fill my classes, then I have a baby and my students got scared and didn't give the new teachers a chance (not all... but some).  I question where did I go wrong as a yoga teacher?  Didn't I always mention detaching from people and material things?  Being present in this very moment and accepting?  For me, I did detach from it and look what was given to me.  A healthy beautiful child that brightens up my day.  She teaches me more in one day than I can learn from any yoga class in a lifetime. 

Just a thought.  Next time you see a name on a yoga schedule and it isn't someone you know maybe give it a shot.  I walked into my first yoga class at a gym and it changed my life.  That teacher is still around with two studios later.  Guess what...if I stereotyped "gym" yoga and I would have never went and I wouldn't be here today writing this blog.  Gifts are put right in front of you every second of the day.  Be open to receive them.  
Namaste.